Speshel Baybayan


I remember being alone most of my young childhood. Friends and family here and there but still alone. I did not have a relationship with my biological father. My mom had her own agenda. She always left me with friends and family or alone. She always told me to pray, read my devotions and call on God because He will always be there. Most of the time, it didn’t bother me to be alone.

I began to tell myself, it is better to be alone so when people you love, leave you or pass away, it won’t hurt. As I became an adult, I partied a lot. I stole, cheated, lied, smoked, drank, didn’t keep my word, didn’t care about anyone else but myself. 

I was independent and didn’t need anyone else because I made it through all on MY own. At least that was my mindset at the time – the “BY MY OWN MIGHT” mentality.

One Saturday night I got into a physical fight with my boyfriend and the next morning I looked at my daughter as she played and thought, what was I doing with my life. I knew I needed to call on God, but how? Church! That’s what calling on God was, church (at least that’s what I thought) My Aunty brought me to The Word of Truth church when I was a little girl. So I decided to go, my life was never the same from that day.


My daughter & I walked in late, 20 minutes left of service. When I entered I immediately felt the presence of God. Apostle Rocky spoke a word from the Lord over us, so timely and on point that I could only cry. Since that day the Lord immediately took away the desire to drink alcohol. The Lord has blessed me in abundance with my wonderful Husband and beautiful 6 Children. Blessed me with my Pastors and church family who stand in the gap for me and my family and war in the spirit for us. Our warrior pastors who help & guide us and raise us in the Lord. Blessed to have them in my life. The Lord showed me that  when I felt alone – HE was there, through it all – HE was always there. I made it though by HIS MIGHT, not my own. Look at how good GOD is. Me being alone most of my life, and now with a BIG family and an awesome church family. Thankful to God for all HE has done, who am I that HE is so mindful of me?