Janeen Souza
Growing up, everyone would always ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Career wise I could never make up my mind; I wanted to be all sorts of things. But the
one thing that I did know was that I always wanted to be a mother. I wanted to have a
husband and a big family. I grew up with two loving parents that set such an
awesome example of how to love and support your family no matter what. When my
husband (John) and I connected in 2005. I knew it in my Gut that this is it. This man will
be my husband and we will have that family we both always wanted. In June 2006 I
received the most wonderful news ever. I was informed that I was currently 4 weeks
pregnant. Talk about the happiest moment I’ve ever had in my life. As soon as I left
the doctor’s I rushed over to John’s working place and shared the news with him. From
that moment on. Everything changed. We rejoiced every day and counted down each
day it’ll be where we can meet our precious son. On the morning of December 1, 2006.
As I was getting ready for work, a gush of water poured out of me. It confused me
because I had no idea what that was. John freaked out and rushed me to the hospital.
That day has been another Life Changing Day for us. The doctor’s informed us that my
water bag broke and that I was in labor. Being 6 months pregnant and hearing that my
baby may not make it, wasn’t what we were expecting to hear. In the early morning of
December 2, 2006. Our Son John Souza Jr “JJ” was born a sleeping Angel. It was one
of the hardest days we ever experienced. Holding our little baby and not getting the
chance to hear his first cry, broke our hearts into pieces. Such a devastating feeling I
don’t wish upon anyone. Trying to carry on with our lives we hoped that we would never
have to go through that again. But since then it has been our mission to try again. In
2008 received news again that we were having a baby. It was again a very happy
moment and each day after that. Especially when we reached the 36 Week mark and
was told that we can give birth any day now and that baby will be okay because she’s
already fully developed. But for some reason the next coming days leading up to the 40th
week of my pregnancy I had this feeling that something was wrong. On February 16th
2009 I checked into the hospital set myself up in labor and delivery only to find out that
Our Daughter had no h
Career wise I could never make up my mind; I wanted to be all sorts of things. But the
one thing that I did know was that I always wanted to be a mother. I wanted to have a
husband and a big family. I grew up with two loving parents that set such an
awesome example of how to love and support your family no matter what. When my
husband (John) and I connected in 2005. I knew it in my Gut that this is it. This man will
be my husband and we will have that family we both always wanted. In June 2006 I
received the most wonderful news ever. I was informed that I was currently 4 weeks
pregnant. Talk about the happiest moment I’ve ever had in my life. As soon as I left
the doctor’s I rushed over to John’s working place and shared the news with him. From
that moment on. Everything changed. We rejoiced every day and counted down each
day it’ll be where we can meet our precious son. On the morning of December 1, 2006.
As I was getting ready for work, a gush of water poured out of me. It confused me
because I had no idea what that was. John freaked out and rushed me to the hospital.
That day has been another Life Changing Day for us. The doctor’s informed us that my
water bag broke and that I was in labor. Being 6 months pregnant and hearing that my
baby may not make it, wasn’t what we were expecting to hear. In the early morning of
December 2, 2006. Our Son John Souza Jr “JJ” was born a sleeping Angel. It was one
of the hardest days we ever experienced. Holding our little baby and not getting the
chance to hear his first cry, broke our hearts into pieces. Such a devastating feeling I
don’t wish upon anyone. Trying to carry on with our lives we hoped that we would never
have to go through that again. But since then it has been our mission to try again. In
2008 received news again that we were having a baby. It was again a very happy
moment and each day after that. Especially when we reached the 36 Week mark and
was told that we can give birth any day now and that baby will be okay because she’s
already fully developed. But for some reason the next coming days leading up to the 40th
week of my pregnancy I had this feeling that something was wrong. On February 16th
2009 I checked into the hospital set myself up in labor and delivery only to find out that
Our Daughter had no h
heartbeat. I said, “No this can’t be happening, I am not losing
another baby again”. Nothing in this world can and will every prepare you for the lost
and devastating feeling you go through when giving birth to another stillborn baby. I
thought to myself, what is wrong with me? Immediately after, I don’t think we really had
time to take in what happened. All we had on our minds was, we wanted kids. So our
doctor at the time suggested In vitro Fertilization a few months later, which was
Successful because we were informed after, that we were expecting twins. This time we
were like okay we will finally get our 2 kids that we lost. Everything was going fine I was
seen by a doctor every 3 weeks. And once I got the clear that everything looks good. I
was going to move temporary to Oahu where I would be monitored more closely for my
last trimester. On July 28th, 2010, I woke up from one of my many naps that I normally
take during the day. Only to feel one of my babies coming out of me while using the
Bathroom. I was then rushed to the hospital to find out I was in labor, fully dilated and
ready to give birth. Again, this can’t be happening to me. It’s too early for them to be
born yet, their lungs were not fully developed. It’s unfortunate because Our hospital
facility did not have the equipment to save our babies. So that night, I gave birth to our
2 sons, they both took their first breath and peacefully went after that. Again, 4 babies I
was not able to hear their first cry. After that I fell into a depression mode. I mean after
another baby again”. Nothing in this world can and will every prepare you for the lost
and devastating feeling you go through when giving birth to another stillborn baby. I
thought to myself, what is wrong with me? Immediately after, I don’t think we really had
time to take in what happened. All we had on our minds was, we wanted kids. So our
doctor at the time suggested In vitro Fertilization a few months later, which was
Successful because we were informed after, that we were expecting twins. This time we
were like okay we will finally get our 2 kids that we lost. Everything was going fine I was
seen by a doctor every 3 weeks. And once I got the clear that everything looks good. I
was going to move temporary to Oahu where I would be monitored more closely for my
last trimester. On July 28th, 2010, I woke up from one of my many naps that I normally
take during the day. Only to feel one of my babies coming out of me while using the
Bathroom. I was then rushed to the hospital to find out I was in labor, fully dilated and
ready to give birth. Again, this can’t be happening to me. It’s too early for them to be
born yet, their lungs were not fully developed. It’s unfortunate because Our hospital
facility did not have the equipment to save our babies. So that night, I gave birth to our
2 sons, they both took their first breath and peacefully went after that. Again, 4 babies I
was not able to hear their first cry. After that I fell into a depression mode. I mean after
going through that lost, Who wouldn’t? My husband turned to alcohol and drugs, even
attempted to hang himself at one point, But the rope broke and he fell to the ground off
our balcony. I turned to alcohol and anything that didn’t remind me that I was living in an
empty home. I was not happy, My husband was not happy. My marriage was falling
apart. Divorce was such a common word being thrown back and forth. It was such a
dark time for us and it was like that for a long time. But everything changed the day we
walked into the doors of The Word of Truth Church. It was a Christmas Service in 2011.
And I was finally convinced and dragged after multiple attempts to go to. I was not
excited to go or had any desire to be there. My attitude was bad because what I was
feeling at the moment was betrayal and hurt. I thought why should I go to church and
Praise God and listen to all the things HE has done. When all he’s done was take away
my joy. All He’s allowed me to do was go through heartbreak. I was hurt, I felt let down
and I felt alone. But the moment I walked into the Sanctuary. My life has changed
forever. At the time I didn’t know what was happening to me, all I know is that I felt this
overwhelming feeling has taken over me. And I just broke down and started crying. I
could hardly keep myself upright. I kept saying “I’m Sorry, I’m Sorry” over and over
again. During all that, all I could hear was, “It’s Okay, It’s Okay, you’re Home now,
everything is going to be Okay” HIS voice was so clear to me as if GOD was standing
right next to me. I was so overwhelmed I could hardly pay attention to what was going
on during the service. It wasn’t till the following service where I accepted JESUS, and
received My Salvation. Since then, I’ve learned to how to love, how to heal, how to
forgive and how to live. And it’s been a Blessed Life so far. It’s been a challenge
definitely because my heart’s desire to be a mother was still there. But I had to learn to
be patient. With GOD’s Help nothing is impossible. On January 11, 2016, John and I had
the honor to finally hear our baby’s first cry. Levi Souza was born on a beautiful
Monday morning. Not only was our room filled with joy and happiness, but it filled me
with Victory. Victory over the fear I had of losing another baby. Victory over the years of
devastation. Victory in knowing that I never gave up. Victory over everything that came
against us. And because of the Faith, The Hope and The Love we had for Jesus, We
Conquered. But GOD wasn’t done yet. On June 26, 2017, we were blessed with Our
Daughter Lilydia Souza. Again, on May 31, 2020, we welcomed Loyalty Souza, Another
Miracle child, whom the Doctors Claimed I Miscarried. But Standing on GODS word,
she was Born Live and Healthy. But it didn’t stop there. GOD brought to our attention in
June 2024 that I was almost 6 Months Pregnant. ONLY JESUS!! We welcomed Luke
Souza on September 12, 2024. HALLELUJAH!!! ALL GLORY TO GOD for Blessing and
Fulling our lives with our Miracles. Thank You so much for taking the time read my
Testimony. I pray that my story will touch lives and encourage those out there to Never
Give Up. And through it all Always Give God all the Glory!! Because He is True and
Righteous and He’ll never leave your side. He will never Stop Fighting for You. God
Bless…. Love Janeen Souza
attempted to hang himself at one point, But the rope broke and he fell to the ground off
our balcony. I turned to alcohol and anything that didn’t remind me that I was living in an
empty home. I was not happy, My husband was not happy. My marriage was falling
apart. Divorce was such a common word being thrown back and forth. It was such a
dark time for us and it was like that for a long time. But everything changed the day we
walked into the doors of The Word of Truth Church. It was a Christmas Service in 2011.
And I was finally convinced and dragged after multiple attempts to go to. I was not
excited to go or had any desire to be there. My attitude was bad because what I was
feeling at the moment was betrayal and hurt. I thought why should I go to church and
Praise God and listen to all the things HE has done. When all he’s done was take away
my joy. All He’s allowed me to do was go through heartbreak. I was hurt, I felt let down
and I felt alone. But the moment I walked into the Sanctuary. My life has changed
forever. At the time I didn’t know what was happening to me, all I know is that I felt this
overwhelming feeling has taken over me. And I just broke down and started crying. I
could hardly keep myself upright. I kept saying “I’m Sorry, I’m Sorry” over and over
again. During all that, all I could hear was, “It’s Okay, It’s Okay, you’re Home now,
everything is going to be Okay” HIS voice was so clear to me as if GOD was standing
right next to me. I was so overwhelmed I could hardly pay attention to what was going
on during the service. It wasn’t till the following service where I accepted JESUS, and
received My Salvation. Since then, I’ve learned to how to love, how to heal, how to
forgive and how to live. And it’s been a Blessed Life so far. It’s been a challenge
definitely because my heart’s desire to be a mother was still there. But I had to learn to
be patient. With GOD’s Help nothing is impossible. On January 11, 2016, John and I had
the honor to finally hear our baby’s first cry. Levi Souza was born on a beautiful
Monday morning. Not only was our room filled with joy and happiness, but it filled me
with Victory. Victory over the fear I had of losing another baby. Victory over the years of
devastation. Victory in knowing that I never gave up. Victory over everything that came
against us. And because of the Faith, The Hope and The Love we had for Jesus, We
Conquered. But GOD wasn’t done yet. On June 26, 2017, we were blessed with Our
Daughter Lilydia Souza. Again, on May 31, 2020, we welcomed Loyalty Souza, Another
Miracle child, whom the Doctors Claimed I Miscarried. But Standing on GODS word,
she was Born Live and Healthy. But it didn’t stop there. GOD brought to our attention in
June 2024 that I was almost 6 Months Pregnant. ONLY JESUS!! We welcomed Luke
Souza on September 12, 2024. HALLELUJAH!!! ALL GLORY TO GOD for Blessing and
Fulling our lives with our Miracles. Thank You so much for taking the time read my
Testimony. I pray that my story will touch lives and encourage those out there to Never
Give Up. And through it all Always Give God all the Glory!! Because He is True and
Righteous and He’ll never leave your side. He will never Stop Fighting for You. God
Bless…. Love Janeen Souza